Christian Priorities

[SKIRRID5]

Lawdy, lawdy, these here Christian folks scare the Bejesus out of me (so to speak). Searching online for a recipe for making low-salt bread in a bread-maker, I found myself at a website run by a lady calling herself The Hillbilly Housewife. Quite a useful site as far as the practicalities go.
However...
In my nasty nit-picking way, I was irritated by her invariable habit of sticking an apostrophe in the possessive "its", and I wondered if it would be too rude to let her know. That's where her true colours were revealed. Fair enough, she's too busy to answer every email she gets, but listen to what she says in emphasising how busy she is:
"My priorities work like this:
1 God
2 Marriage
3 Kids and family
4 Home, cleaning, hospitality etc
5 Website
6 Email "

If I were her husband or kid (a horrid thought), I wouldn't take too kindly to being a mere number three on the list, just above the cleaning. How do you separate 2 and 3, by the way?
As I fled this scary patch of Americana, I noticed the little counter you get on websites, telling you how many visitors they've had. Guess what - it was labelled "Christian Counter"! I feel corrupted. For a split second in the electronic universe I've been turned into a Christian. A hasty Black Mass is in order. Tell you what: the low-salt bread isn't going to taste any the better for that encounter.
Seriously, though, doesn't it depress you to think she's a voter in the world's most powerful country?

[Fiona]

*puts fingers in ears*

Must not turn into a fascist Must not turn into a fascist Must not turn into a fascist Must not..................

[SKIRRID5]

Thinking further about this, I was struck by the thought that the only logical reason for even setting out a scale of priorities must be the possibility of a conflict. So her charming belief system must include the concept of God wanting her to do something which would be detrimental to her kids. They say Be careful what you wish for as you may get it. One might add, Watch out for the logical consequences of your beliefs, lest they come to pass. Any day now, the Big Guy may require her to bake her kids in the bread machine. Without too much salt, of course. Wouldn't want God to get high blood pressure - he's touchy enough as it is.

[DrS]

But I thought cleanliness was next to godliness ...

[Mulder]

A hasty Black Mass is in order.

Doesn't that concept itself rely on religion?

[siestatime]

"Marriage" is the accepted way of describing *gulp* carnal delights - well, sex with husband anyway.

[SKIRRID5]

Mulder - you're right, of course. I must watch my latent Satanism
Siesta - I see. My Dad never told me about these things. So a roll in the hay with father matters more than the welfare of the kids. That's the sort of attitude the Godly ones attribute to abandoned pagans, surely. Oops, shouldn't have used the word "welfare" in an American context; they don't like that commie stuff.

[mesaysi]

Lawdy, lawdy, these here Christian folks scare the Bejesus out of me (so to speak). Searching online for a recipe for making low-salt bread in a bread-maker, I found myself at a website run by a lady calling herself The Hillbilly Housewife. Quite a useful site as far as the practicalities go.
However...
In my nasty nit-picking way, I was irritated by her invariable habit of sticking an apostrophe in the possessive "its", and I wondered if it would be too rude to let her know. That's where her true colours were revealed. Fair enough, she's too busy to answer every email she gets, but listen to what she says in emphasising how busy she is:
"My priorities work like this:
1 God
2 Marriage
3 Kids and family
4 Home, cleaning, hospitality etc
5 Website
6 Email "

If I were her husband or kid (a horrid thought), I wouldn't take too kindly to being a mere number three on the list, just above the cleaning. How do you separate 2 and 3, by the way?
As I fled this scary patch of Americana, I noticed the little counter you get on websites, telling you how many visitors they've had. Guess what - it was labelled "Christian Counter"! I feel corrupted. For a split second in the electronic universe I've been turned into a Christian. A hasty Black Mass is in order. Tell you what: the low-salt bread isn't going to taste any the better for that encounter.
Seriously, though, doesn't it depress you to think she's a voter in the world's most powerful country?

She might be Mormon they are taught first God, second spouse, third children.