What more could you want?

[Mojo]

I spotted a brief report of this in the Observer yesterday, and after a bit of Googling had to post it here because it appears to be the perfect UK Skeptics' Forum story, involving, as it does, communication with the dead, a psychic "former policewoman", reincarnation, UFOs, Greys, the West Wickham Spiritualist Church, orgasms and, er, Emlyn Hughes!

Liverpool, alien orgasms and dead footy stars... Kop that!

DEAD football star Emlyn Hughes is using a former policewoman to contact Liverpool FC manager Rafa Benitez.
Stephany Cohen says she has been contacted by the spirit of the former England and Liverpool captain. She says he is desperate to speak to the European Cup-winning manager and wants her to set up a meeting.
Three years ago the 45-year-old featured in News Shopper, sister newspaper of This Is Local London, when she revealed aliens called "Grays" were giving her orgasms.

...

Miss Cohen, of Lancaster Close, Bromley, is also expecting Grays from the planet Sirrus D to use her body to tell humans things.
Miss Cohen believes the Grays have been her spiritual guides for many lifetimes, including when she was Joan of Arc in the 1400s.

...

Liverpool FC declined to comment on the matter.

The earlier story about Ms. Cohen and the Greys, which also said that she and her partner attend West Wickham Spiritual Church, provoked a letter from the church:

It was with some dismay some of the members of West Wickham Spiritualist Church read about Stephany Cohens’ encounter with “Grays” from a planet called Cirus D (News Shopper, August 13). We would like to inform News Shopper readers neither Stephany Cohen nor Michael Williams are members of West Wickham Spiritualist Church nor do they attend our church services. They are not involved in any healing which takes place at the church. As Spiritualists, we uphold the right of every individual to believe in whatever they choose to, however bizarre those beliefs may appear to be. We do feel though we have to point out encounters with extraterrestrials such as Miss Cohen described are not in any way connected with Spiritualism.

A Google search for "Stephany Cohen" also found an interview with her from ufology.org.uk. The site seems to be down at the moment, but it was still in Google's cache which reveals that although she claims to have passed "the training down at Hendon to become a police officer", she was in fact working for them as a typist.

[Admin]

I believe her.

What a great story.

I vaguely remember hearing this story, and also one about Liverpool FC using Derek Acorah's services. ???

[Mojo]

She also seems to have written to the Mirror:

YOUR article on Kabbalah, the mystical religion practised by Madonna, was very accurate (Daily Mirror, May 17). It's utterly ridiculous to think that a piece of red string will ward off evil spirits or that a chicken can disperse negative energy.
One thing money does not seem to buy celebrities is common sense.
Stephany Cohen, Bromley, Kent

Is she qualified to say whether or not something is "utterly ridiculous"?

[Admin]

She's not saying that evil spirits and negative energy don't exist, just that a piece of red string won't ward them off.

I think the Grays are needed for such things.

It's funny how people can be entirely rational about one piece of nonsense and yet be completely irrational about another.

[Eddiesilence]

They can indeed. I forget who said it, Orwell or Shakespeare or someone else - my memory is shot today so it could even have been Miss Piggy - but the qoute was something like a cultist can say one thing, believe a second and do a third. Each thing is of course contradictory to the other things.

It rings very true indeed. For example, the scientologists have a heavy superiority complex going on; they look down on those other religions for using belief as a justification for their faith. Honestly, who'd use silly old belief? It's so crude and inexact.

On the other hand, scientologists don't think they believe anything, after all, they have the technology and they can prove it works. So the scienos can be rather self-righteous about the likes of mormons, moonies and mennonites being deluded, and indeed, the scienos are probably correct on that count.

But the kicker is that they're deluded too, because what they don't realise is that the definitions of important words such as 'scientific' and 'proof' have been somewhat disfigured by a clever linguistic deception. Resultantly while they think they have proof, they really have belief. It's a neat trick - thought-reform by redefinition of words...

[median]

Quote
DEAD football star Emlyn Hughes is using a former policewoman to contact Liverpool FC manager Rafa Benitez.
Stephany Cohen says she has been contacted by the spirit of the former England and Liverpool captain. She says he is desperate to speak to the European Cup-winning manager and wants her to set up a meeting.
Three years ago the 45-year-old featured in News Shopper, sister newspaper of This Is Local London, when she revealed aliens called "Grays" were giving her orgasms.

...

Miss Cohen, of Lancaster Close, Bromley, is also expecting Grays from the planet Sirrus D to use her body to tell humans things.
Miss Cohen believes the Grays have been her spiritual guides for many lifetimes, including when she was Joan of Arc in the 1400s.

...

Liverpool FC declined to comment on the matter.

There is almost a perverse sense of logic, with such a multitude of wild claims to make you want to believe it true....if, of course you actually did want to…ermmm :-\
The explanation of the Gray orchestrated orgasms would explain her title, 'Miss'. With all this ET love action, who needs men?
Anyone know where Sirrus D is, by the way? :)